What I Would Do: An in depth look at Tag Team Wrestling by Jack Hart

The style of my article is pretty simple. I’m going to take a new topic every week and explain what I would do with it. Most of the time it will be something that I think needs fixing, but it could also be more of a fantasy article based around a wrestler (oops, I mean entertainer) or around a PPV. Maybe once in awhile I’ll even give props to the WWE… maybe. I’d like to start with something that sticks out to me as the most obvious problem with the WWE today. I’m speaking of course about Hornswoggle. No I’m kidding, I’m actually talking about the Tag Team division.

What I’d do with the Tag Team Division: Man I don’t even know where to start. I mean I’m struggling to think of 4 tag teams right now. You’ve got Santino and Kozlov, Big Show and Kane (although they literally just won the titles), Gabriel and Slater, and… The Usos! Boom that’s four! Unfortunately that means there is only four, unless you count whatever Zach Ryder and Primo have been doing on Superstars. Which I don’t.
Think of the tag teams that used to be in the WWE just over ten years ago. Off the top of my head, I can think of the Hardy Boys, Edge and Christian, APA, The Dudley Boyz, Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett, Too Cool, Right to Censor, T & A, the New Age Outlaws… Al Snow and Steve Blackman? (Go Head Cheese!) Heck even 4 years ago there were enough teams to have two 10 team battle royals for the tag team championships. London and Kendrick, Regal and Taylor, Benjamin and Hass, Cade and Murdoch, Cryme Tyme, Deuce and Domino, Hardy Boys again to name a few. Even teams like DX and Rated RKO revamped the tag division for a while.

More recently we’ve seen teams that have given more of a spotlight to the titles, but they haven’t necessarily brought the tag team division up. Chris Jericho and Big Show were on every show weekly, so we were constantly seeing the tag team champions, but that didn’t cause a tag team explosion. The focus seems to be more on two superstars placed together on a team, rather than on a team dynamic. Which is poor booking in my opinion, because it seemed more exciting growing up that a team like the New Age Outlaws would actually have a shot against a team like The Rock and Stonecold, simply because they were an established team. It adds more excitement to a match like that. So again where exactly do I start?

First off what I think the WWE needs is some actual tag teams that are similar to the Usos, but to not break them up. It’s gotten to the point that I no longer care about how successful the tag team might be, but I start trying to figure out which superstar will be more successful. Which is very difficult when you’re watching twins. (trust me, I’m a twin.) They need more tag teams like the Hart Dynasty or, for crying out loud, even the ridiculously named Dudebusters. It felt like there was actually a reason these teams were together, even if the only reason was that they sat up late one night and decided that Dudebusters would be a good name for a tag team. I’m only gonna say it one more time, but the Dudebusters? My first step is to bring up some teams from FCW right away and start developing them. I’d say maybe a face team and a heel team for each brand, and already you’ve doubled the number of tag teams you have on your roster. I don’t know all the guys in developmental, but for example, how about they bring up Brett Dibiase and pair him with his brother… wait does Ted still work for the WWE?
Second I would find a reason to have a tag team title tournament similar to what they did on Smackdown when they first added the tag team titles. Sure the only established team that came out of there was Los Guerreros, but it brought a lot of excitement to the division and some great matches, specifically between Angle and Benoit, Edge and Mysterio, and the aforementioned Guerreros. Not to mention it is an easy way to get some teams together without just throwing Mark Henry with whoever you want on a daily basis and claiming they are a tag team. I mean hasn’t he been paired with MVP, Evan Bourne, and Yoshi Tatsu just this last year alone? What’s that reader? Who exactly would I pair together? Well I’m glad you asked because I happen to have five teams already ready.

1. Tyson Kidd and DH Smith- Yeah I’m aware that their team splitting up has resulted in huge success for both men, but maybe it’s time these two crazy kids got back together. I have no idea why the WWE split them up without having any plans for them. It’s like the writers were a bunch of bored kids with salt and The Hart Dynasty were a couple of snails. Anyway, let’s get them back together. It’s a simple fix. Maybe Tyson Kidd is feuding with a couple wrestlers who start teaming up on him week after week and finally DH Smith runs out and saves him from a beat down and voila… The Hart Dynasty is back. Also you’ve now created two teams. Yeah that’s right, two, because the team that has been beating Tyson Kidd up is…

2. Ted Dibiase and Brett Dibiase- I mentioned this one earlier, but it needed to be pointed out again. I cannot think of another wrestler whose stock has fallen as far as Dibiase’s has. At one point he was actually rumored to be the leader of his own faction, but instead he just hired Virgil, because that was a terrible idea for two generations. So instead of having this guy flounder in singlesville, let’s get him back into tag team action! (I reread that and it sounded a little inappropriate. My bad.) If you don’t want to bring up Brett, then just have Ted hire someone who is actually intimidating like Skip Sheffield or Ezekiel Jackson as his tag team partner. The story writes itself.

3. Daniel Bryan and Evan Bourne- As much as I would love it, these guys are not getting pushed to the main event level anytime soon, so let’s make them into an exciting tag team. Bryan and Bourne even has a nice ring to it. Or how about “Air Submission”? That one gave me goosebumps ladies and gentlemen. I don’t really need much of a story to get these two together, I just think they should be the team that wins that tag team tournament I was talking about. These guys could have great chemistry and you know they could deliver great matches weekly. Let’s get it done.

4. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger- I realize these two are main event level talents and especially with Undertaker barely there, and Edge gone, and HHH doing… whatever it is he’s doing, the WWE probably needs these guys to pick up the ball and run it, but for some reason I just like these two as a team. Maybe a little more so when Dolph was a blonde, but I remember a Survivor Series match where these two were on a team and they just had some really good chemistry together. Plus they both play the part of goofy yet intense heels pretty well. I just think they would work.

5. Zach Ryder and Kofi Kingston- I’m not really sure why I paired Kingston with Ryder, but for the love of everything holy, the WWE needs to use Ryder somehow and Kinsgton’s style seems to work better in the context of a tag team. Yes Ryder is currently a heel, but the fans are obviously digging the stuff he’s putting on Youtube, and he has a lot of comedic potential. I know I said teams should have a reason to be together, but for these guys I just say, “why not?”

Really the only thing the WWE needs to do with the tag team division is actually give a crap. Their tag team champions lost in a two minute match at Wrestlemania to a team that was thrown together. If that gives you any indication of how little they care. The tag teams need to be displayed more with teams that you can invest in and who don’t break up every few months. Not to mention that the matches need more time, although with WWE rebranding itself, I’m not sure if any match is going to get a decent amount of time. But hey, we can always hope. That’s what I would do with tag teams.